What are Scorpios afraid of?

With their competitive nature and attraction to the darker side of things, it might be difficult to imagine that Scorpios would be afraid of anything. However, everyone has certain things that frighten them and Scorpio is no exception.

Scorpios are dark, deep, complex people. Vulnerability and engulfment are the bedrock of Scorpio’s insecurities. Their extreme apprehension over being vulnerable with others leads to other problems, such as being afraid to trust, having angst about losing control, and being scared of desertion by a loved one. Although they long for intimacy, Scorpios are terrified of being engulfed by commitment, of losing their individuality to a relationship.

Now that we know the basics, let’s dig a little deeper to see how the fears of Scorpio might affect your relationship. To begin, it’s important that we first distinguish between fear and apprehension.

The difference between fear and apprehension

Fear and apprehension are among the strongest human emotions, so strong that they often make us act in irrational and inexplicable ways. But are they the same thing?

No. They are not. Even though the two share many commonalities, our experience with these emotions differs based upon their context.

Fear is a response to a known or understood threat [1]. Imagine that a car headed in the opposite direction as you on a highway suddenly swerves into your lane to pass another vehicle. It is a dangerous move. At the speed the two of you are travelling, there will not be adequate time for him to successfully execute the maneuver. The two of you are en route to a head-on collision.

You move your foot from the gas to the brake pedal in an attempt to give the other car more time, but it won’t be enough. Your body tenses and your hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel; your heart pounds in your chest and you are holding your breath. At the last second, the driver of the other car realizes his folly, reduces his speed and swerves back behind the vehicle he was attempting to pass, thus averting a disastrous accident.

This is an example of a threat that both is known and understood. It elicited a classic fear response. A key component of fear is that once the threat is removed, your physical response to it dissipates quickly.

From this description, it is clear that fear is not what we really are referring to with the question, What are Scorpios afraid of? What we actually are asking is, What causes apprehension in Scorpios?

Apprehension relates to anxiety, a diffuse, unpleasant, vague anticipation of adversity, misfortune, or future trouble [2]. In anxiety, the threat is unknown or poorly defined, one conjured in the mind, or an internal conflict.

An example would be refusing to drive on a particular highway because a random minor  accident occurred there two weeks ago. In this case, there is no evidence of a known threat, that the person is in any real danger. Their apprehension rests on a false comparison, a projection of what might happen if they drive on that highway, and has little basis in reality.

A key feature of apprehension is that the anticipated or imagined threat never really is removed. Consequently, a person’s response to it doesn’t dissipate, but instead persists.

Now that we understand that what we’re really talking about is apprehension and not fear, we can address the question, What are Scorpios afraid of?

Scorpios are afraid of commitment

Have you ever had a relationship in which your partner is attentive, passionate, and fun to be around, but the relationship never seems to pass to the next level? You’re ready for commitment, but they avoid the subject and seem satisfied to maintain things as they are.

As you think about it, you realize that you don’t really know that much about your romantic partner. You’ve told them what seems like everything about you. They are very easy to talk to and they seem to be able to draw even the deepest secrets out of you with ease. But there is little reciprocity. Each time you try to get to know them better, they seem to magically redirect the conversation topic away from them, most often back onto you. This maneuver is so smooth that you don’t even realize that it’s happened until later.

Who is this person that you’re with? Why do they appear to be hiding things? Are they a secret agent or perhaps a criminal? Probably not. Chances are your partner is a Scorpio ascendant.

Scorpios are the most enigmatic sign of the zodiac. They crave intimacy but at the same time are very secretive. Similar to the person that is terrified of jumping into a swimming pool because they are afraid of being engulfed by the water and drowning, Scorpios are apprehensive about being submerged in a relationship and losing control. In essence, they are afraid of emotionally drowning.

The underlying anxiety in this case is the anticipated loss of identity. Relationships involve a certain degree of merging between the couple. Many people see this as very positive, the act of merging resulting in the whole (couple) being greater than the sum of its parts (individuals). However, Scorpios, at least at the beginning stages of a relationship, don’t see it this way. For them, there is no gain, only a potentially terrorizing loss of self.

Scorpios are very ego driven and are desperate to protect it. This makes them fundamentally insecure and riddled with anxiety. For a more complete explanation of the destructive consequences of ego, I recommend that you read my article, Karma can enrich your life (or ruin it).

Scorpios erect emotional barriers to protect their ego and to make them feel secure. But it is a false sense of security. Their desire is intimacy, but they are isolated. They actually feel less secure. Rather than simply letting go, Scorpio’s solution is to invest more energy to build even more massive emotional barriers. This is why some claim that you can never really know a Scorpio.

Commitment sets up an emotional dissonance for Scorpio that they find difficult to resolve. On one hand, they have a deep desire for intimacy, but commitment means that they would have to demolish the emotional barriers that protect their ego, which terrifies them. On the other hand, agreeing to enter into a committed relationship without dismantling their emotional barriers would be fundamentally dishonest, which is against their nature.

As an emotional water sign, Scorpios are fiercely loyal and protective of their friends and loved ones. They tend to be very possessive and jealous because they feel that the people they care about are woefully unaware of the myriad of things that can potentially hurt them. However, their apprehension about imagined threats can be off-putting and come across as controlling or manipulative. 

They typically solve this dilemma by procrastinating about commitment and maintaining some or most of their ego protection apparatus until more trust is established. A partner that is patient and can endure the waiting, which some compare to running a marathon (or several in succession), eventually will be rewarded with someone that is loyal and will love them for life. Unfortunately, many cannot wait and the relationship fizzles.

Scorpios are afraid of losing control

Although they do their best to hide it, Scorpios can be quite insecure on the inside. They attempt to compensate for this by projecting confidence and ensuring that they always are in control of things.

On top of that, Scorpios are aware of how vulnerable their deep emotions make them. That is why they hide them. Actually, Scorpios harbor anxiety about how much control people they love have over them. Their emotions are completely in the hands of people they love. Scorpios can’t do anything about this.

When they really care about someone (and Scorpio only cares deeply, otherwise they don’t care at all), that person exerts tremendous influence over Scorpio’s emotions, typically without even realizing it. Scorpio compensates through misdirection. They show confidence, even when they do not feel confident, and assume control over commonplace situations of daily life.

Even though it’s largely superficial, being in control makes Scorpios feel secure and they find it threatening when their control is interrupted or lost. They are afraid of the pending imagined disaster that will occur if their insecurities are revealed to others.

Scorpios are afraid of being vulnerable

One of Scorpio’s insecurities is being afraid of feeling like a fool, that someone might humiliate them, or judge and expose them. This can be crippling. Remember. Scorpios crave intimacy. It’s their greatest desire. However, their deep anxiety over being vulnerable undermines this and often prevents them from experiencing true happiness.

Many people are afraid of showing their true selves to others, but Scorpios take this paranoia to another level.

Scorpio fears being exposed completely, for inside every Scorpio is a certain darkness that overwhelms even them.

Dr. Athena Perrakis

Scorpios are afraid of trusting others

One of the greatest sources of apprehension for Scorpios is their sense of dread over being betrayed by someone close to them. Consequently, Scorpios do not trust easily. They will explain this by claiming that they simply are being practical and exercising caution, but there might be more going on than just this.

Scorpios can be quite secretive and don’t like to overshare too much. They become very uncomfortable if you try to find out more about them. From your perspective, you simply are expressing genuine interest. But they interpret your inquiries as suspicious and threatening behavior.

So what exactly are Scorpios hiding? They typically are trying to obscure the fact that the image that they project to the world is a facade, that they are not as confident and competent as they want you to believe. In essence, they are hiding their personality. 

Scorpios don’t want you to know how much they pay attention to the world around them. They notice everything, especially when it comes to people they care about. Scorpios are aware that they see a lot more than most people do, that they see a hidden layer to everything. They analyze what they perceive over and over again, each time delving deeper.

Scorpios don’t want people to know how odd they are. They don’t want people to know how unlike everyone else they feel and the sense of isolation it causes.

Because they can see through deception and hypocrisy, Scorpios can sometimes become like paranoid conspiracy theorists, believing that they are surrounded by deception and question whether they can trust anyone or anything. This typically occurs when the moon is debilitated in Scorpio. In this case, they are reckless in their thinking; their mind is occupied by negative thoughts and they are driven by apprehension. They take it to an extreme. This affects their ability to trust.

At the heart of the matter, Scorpio’s mistrust results in them not trusting themselves. They don’t trust themselves to let go of their control and let things happen. They fear that if they do, everything will fall apart. Mars rules both Scorpio and Aries. Aries is in the sixth house in relation to Scorpio. The sixth house is related to problems and difficulties. In this regard, Scorpios can be their worst enemy and suffer the consequences of reckless decisions.

If you’re trying to get close to a Scorpio who seems excessively private, be patient. It will take a long time for Scorpio to trust you. They tend to expect the worst from people and operate under the assumption that no one – including you – will be able to understand them. 

Do not force the issue. If you rummage through their possessions or use otherwise deceitful means to uncover Scorpio’s secrets, they will find out. Once you have betrayed their trust, it’s over. You will have a difficult, if not impossible, time ever regaining that trust.

Scorpios are afraid of abandonment

Scorpios are very insecure people and need constant reassurance that the people close to them will not forsake them. These abandonment issues make Scorpios intent on maintaining close surveillance on the people around them. They regularly ask those close to them about their whereabouts, always wanting to know who they are with and whether they feel safe or not. Of course, this perpetual protectiveness can be overwhelming to others and make them feel as though they are being micromanaged.

Harboring fantasies of desertion by loved ones means that Scorpios never can relax. They remain in a continuous state of hyper-awareness, filled with anxiety that their life is going to fall apart.

Final thoughts

Everyone has things that scare them. Knowing and understanding them allows us to exercise compassion and empathy. Although Scorpio’s many insecurities may seem overwhelming, if you show patience and give them a chance, you will have a loyal romantic friend or partner who will love you for life.

References

1. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition. American Psychiatric Association.
2. Craig KJ, Brown KJ, Baum A (1995). Environmental factors in the etiology of anxiety. In: Bloom FE, Kupfer DJ, eds. Psychopharmacology: the Fourth Generation of Progress. New York, NY: Raven Press, pp. 1325-1339.